I was born and grown up in a Muslim country where I was gifted to believe in God because of the society, tradition, etc.
Having said that no one was interested in religion in my immediate family and neither was I.
I lived many years on my own. In 2001 when I was about 21 years old, in my free time I started reading Quran in Arabic for about 1-2 hours a day and I continued doing so until 2004 and then I literally stopped it for some reasons. Overall, I read it 5 times I think and the more I was reading it the more I was loving it.
In October 2003, a morning I got up and chatted with my younger brother who was in UK. I heard from him that Christians sometimes take a fast in a way that they dedicate a day to God and just do good deeds, say good words and think only divine and positively (I hadn't read Bible but had seen a movie about Jesus and knew what Quran had said about Jesus). I found this type of fast interesting and decided to dedicate my tomorrow to God; not to seek my own needs but to serve, care and love others and God.
Dedicating My Day to God:
I managed to get a day off and I started my day by fasting and dedicating my whole day to God. I tried forgetting my own needs, my personal works, studies, University, etc as much as possible.
I forgave all people and purified my heart from any hatred or aggression. I forgave myself and my stuttering. On the day, I contacted most of my family, relatives and most of my friends and generally I was there to help, care and love wherever possible. I prayed for all people that I knew or event didn't know...
At night and my Prayer:
At night at about 1 am and while no one was at home but me, I tuned off all the lights at home and came to bed. I lied on my bed towards the sky and I remember I had a relaxed and cheerful smile on my face with closed eyes at all time. I had a great feeling about myself and God and my heart was enlightened and full of love.
I started praying, praising Lord and thanking for the day; I had so much love in my heart that I was greatly eager to see God's face. My prayer after few minutes turned to a situation where I was just insisting to see God:
"Lord, I love you so much. I know you're here and you are alive. I know you hear what I say and see me right now...I love you and I really want to see you Lord. I know that when I go to sleep, my soul will come back to you. Please bless me by letting my awareness and consciousness to be attached to my soul so that I can see you and remember you...I know you have the power and nothing is impossible for you... please let me see you my beloved... I love you with all my heart..." (I repeated this prayer for about 10 minutes and I was fully awake)
I can't describe it in the way I experienced it but I do my best:
I was fully awake but my eyes were closed. Suddenly, I felt something like a holy and loving Spirit came to my room and my room was shining with light.
The Spirit came over me and covered all my body. I felt His warm and loving presence. It was marvellously and deeply full of love.
After about 30 seconds of silence, He Called My Name Twice:
"Pooya, (after about 10 seconds again), Pooya"
I replied "Jonam?" (in Persian) without any thought which means and I meant "Here I am my dearest; I am listening? what would you like me to do for you?".
The voice was a warm voice of a man, so clear and gently full of indescribable care and love that words are unable to explain.
I felt He would like to tell me something but no other words I heard and the Holy Spirit was lifted up from me and the room became dark again.
I was still at bed for the next 3 minutes, then suddenly I became more aware of what happened to me. I scared as it was a very strange experience and I didn't expect it. I got up from my bed and turned on all the lights at home. I asked God not to appear to me again and only speak with me in my dreams and I will hear Him. I couldn't sleep that night until 7 am in the morning.
I shared this story with few friends after a year.
Certainties This Experience Has Given Me:
- I don't know who God is or how He is but regardless of which religion or philosophy, I am joyfully certain that God exists. I feel this certainty is a blessing that gives me inner peace and trust.
- There is certainly a connection between Heart and Love with God
- Certainly, the voice was either by someone from God or by God himself.
It implied that God said to me:
- I know who you are and I know you by name
- I hear you
- I AM and I want you to have no single doubt about me forever
- I love you and you are special to me
- Perhaps I have a big job waiting for you! (don't know what and why)
This verse of Bible has been brought to my attention that Jesus says "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father" (John 14:8-9) so my feeling is God invited me to see and learn from Jesus Christ as His mirror.
1. God called Moses by name twice.
2. Jesus called Saul by name twice.
3. God called Samuel by name twice
4. God called Abraham by name twice
5. God called Jacob by name twice